Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Paragraph of Thought *holiday thought*

When you turn back to someone you were before, it can means many things. And this time, for me, is nothing too nice. Semester 2, after IHG, for me, is nothing but to sit back and do whatever I wanted. My exercise rate is diminished to the lowest and I am not surprised if the next time I step into my home and my Mom will ask why did I become fat again. *Sigh* Unless you are fat, or else, you will never understand what kind of situation it is. It is hard to ignore the ‘views’ from other people no matter who were they. I get such feedback since years and years ago and it is coming from people from someone I don’t know to someone like my relatives. This is when my ‘Snapy’ personality came in and saved me out of the graveness. Yes, I ignored them, no matter how it may seems hurt. I dare say I am quite an insensitive person. But I do hope I am not that ‘huge’ because that is not funny. Well, not that I want to be as skinny as can be, because I know how difficult for someone like me to lose even one pound. I just wanted to be healthy. But now, I realized I am going back to holiday to attend my cousin’s wedding! Gosh, now good… I must say, as a girl, you will miss quite some things if you live like me. I spend most of lifetime wearing baggy clothes, oversized pants and Harry Potter glasses. Now, I am still like that, resulting in sometimes, I can only admit that I am weird when someone wanted to insist I AM weird. But what can I do? My world, is not here… it is somewhere… And now I have to sort out the problem of not wearing the usual Kampung style to my cousin’s wedding. Blah, after knowing the couple for so long, it will be embarrassing to attend their wedding, underdressed. It has been a joy to hear them finally fixed a day for THE DAY. Seriously, I wish them happiness!!! What should I say for the holiday? Brother will be coming out of NS Camp 2 days before I go back, so, I have no chance to explore his camp. But he will be entering matriculation on 11th of May. Hence, I will have the chance to join in the preparation. Many might say, why enter matriculation that is not recognized by overseas university. I respect my brother’s decision and believe that everyone can shine no matter where they are. This is to tell those people who is now studying in so-called branded university: never be too proud because you are in a good university, the fact whether you are successful or not is not about the university, it’s all about yourself. I have confident in local university and that’s why I feel quite painful when I made a decision to choose between two ‘first choice’. I am happy and felt lucky how I am given the course in the university my Dad studied in. It is an honour, but I am sure, I chose the path less taken, not because of some reason most people thought – but another, hidden deep inside – being my virtue. So, I believe Pleasure will be able to shine on its own, instead of how Mom always ask me to care and protect him. He did better than me and I am sure every step of his life is nurturing him… just like how mine does. Besides that, going back will means going back home. It is home ~ somewhere I belong. One of my friend actually wished to go back to work if she can because she realized the pain when she have to leave her parents back at home when they were old. I can only support what she wanted but yet reminds her that there is still always mental preparation that not being able to work back at home country might be a fact in future. Not like everyone had thought, I don’t think it is a must to work in a more advanced country. What is a better country? Is your ‘better’ that ‘better’? Time can change everything, and it can modify the whole thing, in the way you never predicted. Never try to predict and think you are very smart, because, the smartest prediction always has the counter-prediction. For me, I can say, if you ask me to choose a stand. I will stand in the middle and I started to wonder why is there boundaries between countries? Why territories exist? Why do we have to cut the World into pieces before trying to stitch them back? Why are we creating ‘us’ and ‘theirs’ when we are trying to find unity? Why are we creating wars when we are searching peace? Why are we having ranks when we wants equality? Why?! The fact shows us that it is difficult to bring everything back to equal, peace, unity – but it is possible. Due to long history and several factors, boundaries are difficult to be destroyed. But what we can do is to change the purposes of boundary! “Our boundaries must be elastic. They must be open rather than closed. They must be places of interaction and meeting, rather than fear and humiliation. Most of all, they must be bridges to the future, rather than the barriers of the past.” (Newman D., n.d.). Ahh, I crapped a lot of out-of-topic stuff. Anyway, still worrying how am I not going to wear Kampung style to a wedding event… hmm…

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just want to say what a great blog you got here!
I've been around for quite a lot of time, but finally decided to show my appreciation of your work!

Thumbs up, and keep it going!


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