Wednesday, August 12, 2009

History: Repeat

Once, I thought nothing can be much more worse than I had been through, but now I can see, everything will just happen as good as it can be, as bad as it can be. First, is how I realize my life is going towards the edge like how the days when the elderly suffer during study. There were times when our teacher, our elders told us how lucky was my generation when we can study without any worries but about academics. In their days, they have to work, they have to tighten their belts, because they need to save money for school fees and household. That time, I thought, I am very lucky to have my parents, causing me to be so lucky, no need to worry about financial problem over my education. But now, come to think about it, I am too lucky until my parents can afford my education until now. Since young, every cents I spend on education were from my parents’ own pocket. I was not granted SPBT (Text Book Loan) just because my parents are teachers (isn’t that ironic?). Every school fees, school books, school uniform needed, were all from my parents; while some people who can afford as much as my parents can save up their textbook money because they are granted SPBT. Until now, even in university, other than Tuition Grant, I am theoretically studying own MY OWN MONEY. So, now come the days when I have to undergo what those elderly undergone in their life, the life when you are studying on your own financial support and you have to start saving every penny you got. Sometimes, I do think, how come time rewinds itself, coming to my own generation. Although I am still not the edge of drinking water for every meal, but it feels interesting to undergo what those elderly claims to be their challenge of life. However, standing here as an international student studying in a country where their currency is 2.5 fold of your home country’s, I have to admit, sometimes, you feel very poor. We have to worry about academics, career and financials… and how are we going to pay back all this debts! You might not feel the same but that is really what I feel when I have to use up an amount of money suddenly. So, if this is a task I have to overcome in my life, I will definitely overcome it, but something is definite here, do tell God, I do have such a miserable moment.

Another one is some kind of review I saw today. Yes, I heard a lot of words like “so you have to know someone to get something?”. Basically, it’s quite true in some phrase, such as, you need to know the fishmonger to get fish, you need to know the vegetable seller to buy vegetables. I guess, this is what you normally get throughout your life. If you are a freshmen, don’t know me, because I don’t know anyone. You can get what I mean when you know how I meant by ‘I work alone’. And this is what I realized in hall.

In ancient times:


The pyramid system goes like this. You get a king or the so-called authority to be on top of everything, then, you got all those brains and intellects to stay in the middle. At last, you got all those slaves and servants underneath, thriving.

In Hall:

CCF12082009_00000 - Copy

You got those somewhat people called authority on top of everything as well. In the middle, you got all those so-called intellect, office-like, paper work committee in the middle. Then, you got all those energy-‘wasting’ sports underneath of everything, striving for medals in every IHG. No matter how hard you trains, somehow, you get the points as pity as mice along the street. Only when you win something, you are awarded. The fact is, it is really not your will to win or lose; all you can do is train hard and try your best.

It sounds pathetic and you might want to beg to differ. Save your breath, this is what I realize and I found a very good comparison as well. This is not a sad fact, but a fact of life, just accept it until they actually change the system…


Gavin Cheah said...

At least someone feels the exact same way I do. What we can do is to study hard, get a good degree so that the money our parents spend will not go to waste.

Life is unfair at times and I have definitely been unfairly treated many times in NUS itself.

I don't really care about fairness now, just fight on for what you really want.

Mafer said...

Yes, Gavin! I agree! Great Scientist, Here I Come!