Friday, May 13, 2011

Free Falling Week

Why free fall? Because my life the previous week was almost like that. Falling down without weight and no resistance? Sort of. If any of you who really listen to me talking to myself, you would have heard me, “Mafer, you had a bad bad week, but no matter, you must undergo these in your life”. As a matter of fact, my life last week was not as tragic as someone fallen sick or I received some really bad news – it was just a turn in my life.

Last Sunday, was supposed to be the last day I am allowed to stay in hall. And there goes my life as a university undergraduate student. Stop being an undergraduate student, stop staying in hall, step into the world of graduation and a real Singapore life – all at the same time. You might think it is a small matter, but to think of all the changes that could happen at the moment happening at the same time hit hard on me. Shifting into new house did not help the situation at all. The house is okay, everything sounds alright and wonderful – but is it? I am to shift to somewhere middle of nowhere, where I need to take an hour bus ride to reach from school, equal long time by train and I would never consider walking there. The nearest and only food stall which sells not more than five variety of food is situated five to ten minutes walk from my house. And wait, when I say it as a house – it is not even a house! It is a HDB, the one that looked square-ish and you don’t really have a roof on top of you. Yes, and the best way to settle your grocery was to take LRT to the nearest mall, which really contain only the most common necessaries. The whole flat did not have any fan and the weather is really depressing. The old cooler I owned barely can reduce the heat by so few at a very limited area. At first, there was not enough furniture for a comfortable living and no Internet to use on. As a summary, the flat is not giving me any home feeling at all. At least now, I realized hall had been playing its role as the home away from home very well.

A sudden stop of life without coursework and exams had really halted my life. I am busy with all the shifting and adapting but it did not really feed my soul. I feel a sudden emptiness. And this actually made the home-less feeling worse. Plus, all I do everyday was correcting and refining my resume and cover letter, sending emails and this was not helped by a rare occasion of reply. Perhaps, it is rare for your employer to reply email unless you are confirmed for interview, but it was nonetheless depressing at times. Yes, the week did not really sounded as though I was caught in a natural disaster or war – but it did feels like a sudden rejection of the previous life… Shall stop and start to talk about something following that in the next post…

P.S. This post sounded like a total crap and rambling – just a collection of feelings unarranged… Sourire

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