Monday, October 22, 2012

Speaking Up

It’s funny how I actually felt odd because I am posting yet another personal post when this is in fact my personal blog. But anyway, I just finished one of some crappy paintings (shall not say crappy because I am trying to draw something that I’m quite bad at) after shower after basketball with Stephanie after my playground sessions after work… I did feel reluctant to go for a run just now because I was finishing The Perks of Being a Wallflower book just now and it just made me felt like sitting on the chair more than moving around. But anyway, this is not what I wanted to say. I wanted to say about how relieved I was and am after yesterday’s event.

I really wish I am the kind of person who can speak up as naturally as possible – but sadly, I was not born with such talent. So it was Stephanie this time. She is a person who likes to clean up and neat things up – to the extent when it was not hers. And this is not where the problem is. I don’t really fancy people arranging my things, but I have been staying in a community life for quite a few times and I have accepted the fact that there are some people who just likes to touch your things. But the thing is, I do really get annoyed when the position of the things are changed. I am not saying it is all the time – but most of the time, my things are placed where they were for reasons. And I liked my things where they are and I remember them, to ease my daily operation. I may not be a neat freak, but I definitely know where to get stuff when I need them (at least most of the time). I am the kind of person who can pile up my books in a shape of a mountain and still manage to take out each and every of them without the pile collapsing. I might be a good UNO stack player in some sense, I guess.

But anyway, the problem is Stephanie don’t remember where she takes thing from. When she start arranging your things, she is in fact re-shuffling your things – which makes thing difficult for me because I sometimes remember the space position of my things rather than the details. For example, I know which compartment I place my milk, but I don’t remember how my milk looks like because I keep changing the brand over different purchases due to promotion available. And just to be plain, I get annoyed when things are not where they are because it feels really like someone has been touching my things. (At least if they were put back as they were, I can convince myself they were not touched). Another example, Zhuangli and I happened to have the same brand of supplements and they were shuffled after Stephanie tried to clean the fridge. I have to rearrange them back so that I don’t get the wrong ones.

So, yesterday, I finally manage to speak up to Stephanie and I’m glad I get to do it in a humour. At least I tried my best to not show that I’m annoyed and keep a joking face. And it seemed she got the point that I wish she at least remember where she took the things from and put it back after her hobbies of shuffling things around. It is an achievement for me because I had had friends like that before and I can’t do anything about it because I just don’t want to blow up in front of my friends – because I know when I do, it is something terrible. So, speaking up turned out to be quite a good solution though I do need to put in some effort to package the things a bit.

I am also grateful Stephanie takes my message seriously and professionally. It is really rare because many like to mix up events emotions. For example, just because I told someone I disagree with certain event, then that someone starting to put the same emotion and assumption in a lot of other individual events. This is weird because if I dislike you for arranging my things, that does not mean I dislike you for other things. This is this and that is that – people should really learn how to not mix up their emotions and really make each and every experience as independent as they should. But anyway, Stephanie seemed to take this very well and I am extremely glad to play basketball with her just now anyway, even though I’m not good at it. And so I hope my things will not grow legs around the house in future Smile.

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